Dastak

	From a Tokyo hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis
	In a Bucharest hotel lobby: Lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
	From a hotel in Moscow: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
	In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
	From a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
	In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
	In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
	From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
	In a Majorcan shop: English well talking ... Here speeching American.
	On the box of a Vietnamese laughing tip-toy: Can't invert with laugh. The laugh begin. you are youthful. Automatize. As poke as shaky as shaky as laugh. During the use, open the lid of top and take two cells (NO. 5) in the box. If you want to stop laugh or don't use for a long time, you must take out the cells (This seller have no cells).
	On a toy's box: Danger! This toy is being made for the extreme priority the good looks. The little part which suffocates when the sharp part which gets hurt is swallowed is contained generously. Only the person which can take responsability by itself is to play.
	On a Japanese medicine bottle: Adults: 1 tablet 3 times a day until passing away.
	Instructions for a puzzle toy made in Taiwan: Let's decompose and enjoy assembling!
	Instructions for a telephone manufactured in Japan: Plug the phone jack into the wall. If the phone rings, pick it up and greet the person on the other end by saying 'Hello!' or another such greeting. Once completing your conversation, hang up the phone.
	On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
	On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
	On a child’s Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
	Instructions, translated from Mandarin, for a computer monitor: Please be sure to keep the vents on top open. Do not bring spillables near these, like chicken soup and dust.
	In a Swiss Inn: Special today - no ice cream.
	In a Czech tourist agency: Take one hour horse-driven carriage. We garantee no miscarriages.
	In a Zürich hotel: Because of the impropriety of the entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
	In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
	In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in a bar.
	On the menu of a Polish restaurant: Salad a firm's own make; Limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
	In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
	Outside a Paris boutique: Dresses for street walking.
	From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150.000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
	In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
	In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
	A sign posted somewhere in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that couple of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
	On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
	In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, bud only when lit up.
	In the lobby of a hotel facing a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.
	Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
	Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride your own ass?
	On a faucet in a Finnish restroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
	On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
	Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop---Drive sideways.
	The Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American ad campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
	Bacardi concocted a fruity drink with the name 'Pavian' to suggest French chic ... but 'Pavian' means 'baboon' in German.
	Coors slogan, "Turn it Loose," translated into Spanish as "Suffer From Diarrhea."
	Puffs tissues had a bad name in Germany since "Puff" is a colloquial term for whorehouse.
	Jolly Green Giant translated into Arabic means "Intimidating Green Ogre."
	Chicken magnate Frank Perdue wants us to know that "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," but the Spanish translation came out as "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."
	The Chevrolet Nova sold less well in Latin America than Chevrolet's marketeers had forecast. It was then brought to the company's attention that in Spanish, "No va" means "doesn't go".
	The grocery store chain Konsum in Sweden had a minor problem with their Hungarian customers shoplifting in the chain's convenience store Servus. "Servus" means "yours for free" in Hungarian.
	One of the senior editors of a Swedish motor magazine quite surprisingly refused to travel to the U.S. for an international motor magazine convention. He had been attending the previous year, and blankly stated that he wouldn't go again. He worked for Fart Magazine, "fart" being the Swedish word for speed.
	The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le", which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."
	The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated in the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to free and empty."
	Ford had a similar problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals." Ford pried all the nameplates off and substituted Corcel, which means horse.
	A water park in Cancun advertises with a brochure which grandly proclaims "Let Your Wet Dreams Come True."
	In Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."
	An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I Saw the Pope" in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I Saw the Potato."
	Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means "big breasts." In this case, however, the name problem did not have a noticeable effect on sales.
	In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water.
	Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it entered English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for unusual sex tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki Nippon Tourist Company changed its name.
	A hair products company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the manure stick.
	When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as here in the USA - with the cute baby on the label. Later they found out that in Africa companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside since most people can't read.
	And finally a few items from the Land of the Rising Sun.
	Chiseled in the marble facade of a clothing shop: "Dresses for ladies and gentlemen".
	Over an Osaka pet store: "Fondle dogs".
	On a Tokyo map: Sewage treatment plant marked with "Dirty Water Punishment Place" (Osui shobunsho).